the happiness project

So, I bought this book last week and then felt guilty about spending so much money at barnes & nobles (Luke and I are working really hard on our finances) so I took it back. BUT the one chapter I did read was fantastic, so now I have found the author Gretchin Rubin's blog and I am inspired!

Basically Ms. Rubin devoted one year of her life to finding more fulfillment and happiness within the current life that she is leading. She didn't quit her job take a year sabbatical to Europe or find peace in some west coast vineyards. She continued her career and her family life in new york city while working on her own outlook on her life. In her own words... 

"The days are long but the years are short."

If you want to know more about it I'll let you go ahead and get the full story from her blog (http://www.happiness-project.com/). I think this is something worth pursuing though and in my own way I am finding my own happiness project. Much like any other road though it is filled with twists and turns and low shoulders you can blow your tires on (as Luke would say, haha)... but if it's a destination worth arriving at then we'll push through! So go check her out for yourself... the world could use a few more happy people :)

love and smiles,

a s h l e y

a little pick me up

Lately I've been feeling a little discouraged with myself. I've been feeling like I'm the way too common factor in every rocky path my friendships take. And I am. However, today I talked to my childhood friend Sarah D (she and I go all the way back to preteen angst and my first eyebrow tweeze, haha) We were catching up and I beelined it to my current state of confusion and she had just the answer I needed. I told her how I'm starting to see my flaws in a new light, how I hold grudges and pull away when people hurt me. It's a defense mechanism, and I don't know how to turn it off. Even if the offending person apologizes I still feel like I have some kind of right to be mad.

She told me that I shouldn't be so down on myself, we all have flaws, no one is perfect. She made it seem so easy, like all I have to do is not think about it so much and just live. She's right, I expect perfection from myself and my friends. And when I (or anyone else) show my imperfections I panic. I get disappointed and I think that the world is ending. I've forgotten how beautiful and unique our imperfections are. She also gave me an outsiders view on myself, a much needed boost to my self esteem. She told me about my wedding...

She told me how the whole room swirled with happiness, and it was all centered on me. She told me that she was jealous of me, the way my friends talked like I was the best person they had ever met, the way Luke looked at me, how I exuded joy and peace. She said she cried at how beautifully I interacted with every guest and how I had everyone in the room captivated. She told me how proud she was of me, and how glad she is that we are friends.

 I needed that today because I've been feeling like an outsider. The one no one wants in their group but puts up with because of the super awesome person they come with. I'm sure that's probably not true, but I thrive on the acceptance of others and I've lost that feeling lately. I'm on the path to finding the acceptance and confidence I need from God and not from an outside source. But for today, my outside source was an old friends with a welcomed message. :) 

much love and optimism for tomorrow,
a s h l e y

 

don't be a hater

Another fabulous Kandee Johnson post...

Gah, I love her so much! She is such an inspiration!

Urban Dictionary Definition: HATER-A person that simply cannot be happy for another 

person's success. Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. 

The hater doesn't really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants

 to knock someone else down a notch.

 (And in their sad mind, this will make them feel more powerful!)

I get hundreds and thousands of haters leaving me comments on Youtube, everything from how I look, to how I talk, to what I wear. And then the creative haters just make up stuff up, from their own little sad minds! Some of it is so crazy, I'm  like, "how did they even think this stuff up, they must be really bored and have nothing to do!"

My friend, Olive told me about Tim Ferriss, who wrote, The 4 Hour Work-Week, I read one of his posts about haters and social media which was awesome...and it inspired me to translate some of his great ideas and write this for you guys, I did borrow some of his awesome quotes, they are famous, but so good! Click here to read his original post on Haters.

So here's my swift kick, kung fu, power-punch, iron fist, way to deal with the HATERS in your life!

1. The Hater-Ratio

 If I make a video and 100,000 people see it, and 5 people say they hate me, they just wasted 10 minutes of their life watching my video, my next video should be me punching myself in the face....I DON'T CARE, because the majority outweighed the nutso haters! You could have 10,000 people see what you are doing, wearing, dreaming of...anything, but the only thing that matters is if one person gets it! If you are the only one who gets it- that's fine! If you go to school and 10 people say, "what the heck are you wearing? Where'd you get those clothes? Nice outfit! Nice HAIR!"....WHO CARES?!? 10 people out of the hundreds you might see that day...don't let the little "hater-ratio" spoil it for the rest of the people that love you and like what you wore!

2. Oh, the poor people that take everything personally!

Never react, it's always the worst thing to do, instead wisely decide how you will happily navigate the situation! In defense mode, you just throw out random words to defend what was just flung at you - "you're attacking me, so I'm gonna attack you back"...not the best way to spend your energy. Don't even waste your time with commenting back, you'll never reach all the awesome goals in your life, if you waste your energy on replying to a hater! Some people play victim-angry-hater, in the world...they go around getting mad, and angry at anything and everything, it's probably not you, it's just you got in their line of fire...it would've been you or ANYBODY else that came in their path! So put on your "hater-proof" jacket and let them fire away, cause no comments are gonna penetrate you today!

3. The sooner you stop trying to please everyone, that happier you'll be!

Even, me, Miss I Hope Everyone Will Like Me...had to realize that NO, not everyone is going to like me. Getting online was the biggest lesson in that, Youtube, my blog, all kinds of junk, made me realize not everyone is going to like me, but that's OK! I don't need EVERYONE to like me, the ones that MATTER will LOVE me! Every great person in history was disliked or made fun of, from great actors to singers, to inventors. If you are gonna be brave, stand out, think differently, be your true self....you will most likely have people not like you...they are scared inside, insecure, and just plain want to spill the acid that's inside them on others. “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.”-Colin Powell

4. If you don't have any haters, you better do something daring to get some!
The bigger the your dreams, the bigger your creativity, the bigger your heart, the bigger and bolder your personal style and taste is, the more criticism your going to get. It's a plain fact, the more good you do, the more determined you are, the more difference you're going to make, the more criticism you're going to get! If you're not getting any negative comments, you're probably not doing very much! ha ha ha! Focus on impact, not approval! “If you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative.” Scott Boras

5. Boring never gets teased, but out-of-the-box thinking always does!
 If you want to go after your dreams, dress how you want, think creatively and differently.. you must be willing and ready for people to think you are ridiculous, silly, and or stupid. To do anything different or interesting, be prepared to learn how to enjoy criticism. Take it as a sign of accomplishment, well if I had no dream or dressed like everyone else, ofcourse no one would say anything...I'm daring to think differently and dream even bigger! Bring on the criticism, haters! Bring it on! “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” -Epictetus

6.  The best revenge is happiness!
The best comeback for a haters:  make it OVERLY OBVIOUS  that their "hater-attack", had no effect on you! Show them how much more you love your thoughts, style, dreams, hair cut, whatever it is, that much more! Show them how much fun you're having, how much you love your life! They will be sizzling in their hate even more, once they no it had no effect on you! The old saying, "The best revenge is a life well lived", is true! Show them how awesome your life is, how happy you are no matter what anyone says. Pretty much whatever they say is just spilling out what is inside them, you pour some pepsi out of a can of Peppsi and pepsi will come out, you take a mean person filled with acidic hate, and they are going to say mean acidic words too. Don't even get angry or upset at their mean little comments, just put an even BIGGER smile on your face, maybe even a chuckle, and show them how much FUN you are having in your LIFE! 

7. Don't ever let em see you sweat!
 Adman, Phil Slott, came up with the slogan for Gillette, "Never Let Em' See You Sweat". And we're gonna do just that, never let the haters see you sweat, let them see you smile, let them see you happier than them, see you more confident, more successful, but never let them see you upset!   If you want to be brave, and stand up for your  beliefs, the way you dress, the dreams you have,  if you want to change the world...expect attackers, expect haters, expect the nay-sayers, expect the toxic words, maybe they are even from "toxic friends".  Always remember,  and I gave these my own spin...."Never Let Em Get You Upset" and"The Bigger your Smile, the Bigger your deflector shield for Haters!"

I get hater comments, but I will NEVER let them GET ME! My heart is too happy to let someone else's problem personality and mean comments ruin ME or my HAPPINESS! And I don't want haters to effect you at all either! I love you too much and you are too precious, you are strong and you're going to have too great of a future to let someone try to spoil any moment of your life with their silly words. -Kandee Johnson

I'm so glad I could share my inspiration with you! 

Now go live life and don't let anyone bring you down!

♥ a s h l e y

you can't grow a flower without some rain

rain -> yuck -> growth -> beauty

hmmm...

Question: What is the point at which you should protect yourself from the people and/or situations that are causing you to react in such way?

Answer: First you should ask yourself if having these people and or situations in your life is helping you on your way to fulfilling your dreams -or- are they pulling you further from your goal? 

For me, I am finding that although things have been less than ideal and I've been hurt. I am learning more about myself than I ever would have without the hurt. Isn't that the point? To learn more about yourself, you have to be challenged and from that challenge grow? It isn't easy, they aren't called growing pains for nothing! But in the end you are a more beautiful person, inside and out. 

So here's to a better me and a better you,

♥ a s h l e y

Rant:

My reasoning for starting this blog:

1. To change my reactions to other people and situations that I am not in control of. 

2. To realize that by being upset with someone or something else I am only hurting myself. 

Question: 

1. What is the point at which you should protect yourself from the people and/or situations that are causing you to react in such way?

2. And if so, how do you go about protecting yourself?

Let me end this confusing post by saying: "Don't break important news to your friends or family on facebook."

Love and hope for a better tomorrow,

a s h l e y 

so much yumminess!

This was mine & Luke's desert for our 2 month anniversary!

Yummy!

Ingredients

• 16 wonton wrappers
• 1 egg, beaten to blend
• 1 cup chocolate-hazelnut spread (recommended: Nutella)
• Vegetable oil, for frying
• 16 fresh mint leaves
• Nonstick vegetable oil spray
• Granulated sugar, for dredging
• Powdered sugar, for dusting

Directions

Line a baking sheet with plastic wrap. Place 1 wonton wrapper on the work surface. Brush the edges of the wrapper lightly with egg. Spoon 1 tablespoon of chocolate-hazelnut spread into the center of the wrapper. Fold the wrapper diagonally in half over the filling and press the edges of the wrapper to seal. Place the ravioli on the prepared baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining wonton wrappers, egg, and chocolate-hazelnut spread.

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees F. Add enough oil to a heavy large frying pan to reach a depth of 2 inches. Heat the oil over medium heat to 350 degrees F.

Working in batches, carefully add the ravioli to the hot oil and cook until they are golden brown, about 45 seconds per side. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the ravioli to a plate lined with paper towels to drain. Then, transfer the cooked ravioli to another baking sheet and keep them warm in the oven while frying the remaining ravioli. (The fried ravioli can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cool them completely, then cover and refrigerate. Before serving, place them on a baking sheet and rewarm in a preheated 375 degrees F oven just until they are heated through, about 7 minutes.)

Spray the top side of the mint leaves very lightly with nonstick spray. Working with 1 leaf at a time, dredge the coated side of the leaves in sugar to coat lightly.

Arrange 2 fried ravioli on each plate. Dust the ravioli with powdered sugar. Garnish with the sugared mint leaves and serve.

dreams by Kandee

If you have some time (20 minutes to be exact) you should watch this becauuuuuuuse...

1. Kandee Johnson is amazing. Go follow her. It'll change your life!
2. This video will kick start (or rejuvenate) your passion...

now press play & start living your dreams!

princess?

History 101:  In 2008 I was an intern at Walt Disney World (: 

This was me...   

   

and these boys...

and these too

BUT here's who I wanted to be...

This photo is of one of my girlfriends (Tara) as "Belle"    

                                            ...here's another (Princess Leia here)->

My husband and I visited her on our honeymoon, I told her that she's "living the dream" but she didn't think so. I wonder if you ever think that you've "arrived"? If you list out everything you want in life and then in 20 years you have it all, are you happy? Or is there always something illusive in life that we can't seem to achieve?

I have a dream. A dream of being a princess :) 

Here's the plan:

1. Graduate college

2. In our last semester Luke (my pilot husband) will fly me down to Orlando in April to audition to be a princess... If I don't get it immediately I will try every month until I either get it, or I find another job within the Disney company so we can still go to the parks lots and lots!

3. Move to Orlando, put together a new life for us & keep auditioning to be a princess

-or-

3. Move to Orlando, put together a new life for us with me as a PRINCESS!!!

Here's my current picture...

What do you think? Princess material?

♥ and dreams,

your  a s h l e y

mmm... yummy

For an instant dose of happines, try MAC lip balm in Fuschia fix... actually I'm pretty sure the color doesn't have as much to do with the happiness factor as the delicious vanilla flavor, mmm. So for those of you who are feeling a little down try this pick me up (:

You can get it here: http://www.maccosmetics.com/

or your nearest MAC counter (located in Belk's or Macy's)

♥ and yumminess,

a s h l e y

today's the day!

Hi! 
Today is the day that I change the way I react. 

Today I will decide to be happy, regardless of anything else around me. 

And today is the day that I tell you about it. 

Follow me on this journey to true happiness, the pain that will inevitably be part of the journey, 

and the unrevocable joy that is waiting on the other side (:

More love than you know ♥
your  a s h l e y