animalistic

This weekend I went on a trip with my marching band. It was a lot of fun but I had a few realizations while away.

Since I am an "officer" (and technically staff, too) I am one of the people that helps make sure everyone is where they're supposed to be, tell plans for the evening, pick the bus movie (my favorite task!), and make sure everyone gets fed. 

But boy, when it comes to food, our band is full of animals. It was like they didn't see the 50 tin trays (one of which gave me a nasty cut, ick) of KFC sitting on the picnic table or if they did their stomachs were so ravaged since they hadn't eaten since the pizza lunch that they had to crowd the table (drooling) hoping to be the first in. I know that this group is better than most. I just can't help but wonder if this group of people, who I know as individuals are so great, can behave like famished cave men then what hope is there for humanity? Are we destined to behave as animals when put in groups? Do we only "believe" we are sophisticated and evolved past such tendencies? Or, is it a question of age and maturity?

I'm reminded of the movie Mean Girls and how she would see things in 'girl world' and then imagine how they would be solved in the 'animal world'. 

Just some thoughts on my mind tonight but overall the weekend was filled with a lot more wonderful than animal and I'm very glad to have been there :)

love,

a s h l e y 

Smile :)

The theme song for my 'challenge'. :)

Smile though your heart is aching 
Smile even though it's breaking 
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by 
If you smile through your fear and sorrow 
Smile and maybe tomorrow 
You'll see the sun come shining through for you 

Light up your face with gladness 
Hide every trace of sadness 
Although a tear may be ever so near 
That's the time you must keep on trying 
Smile, what's the use of crying? 
You'll find that life is still worthwhile 
If you just smile 



That's the time you must keep on trying 
Smile, what's the use of crying? 
You'll find that life is still worthwhile 
If you just smile

Just keep smiling,

a s h l e y :)

bad days BUT better tomorrows :)

Last night was a hard night. When I woke up this morning it was only a little better. And my day didn't get much better from there. Then tonight I read this post from a friends facebook...

"Today is just a day. Until it's over, and then it's yesterday."

And some wise words from a very wise woman (Miss Kandee Johnson)... 

"Don't let the storms of your past, cloud your future!"

 and one more from miss Kandee... 

"When life feels like a big storm pouring rain on your life...throw out the umbrella of frustration....and dance in the rain!"

 So tomorrow is another day :)

Another chance to make a memory :)

Another chance to see the sun rise and be glad to be alive :)

Tomorrow will be different :)

Tomorrow will be good, because I am determined to find the good in it :)

I hope you find all the goodness in the world in every one of your days :)

HUGE love (because sometimes you need it)

a s h l e y <3

The challenge!

#3 Act the way you want to feel.

(From Gretchin Rubin's Happiness Project.)

Most of the time the way we act stems from the way we feel, but if we changed that? What if we decide that our feelings aren't going to control the way we behave? What a revolutionary idea! Give this a try for me, one day when you're feeling not especially enthused put a smile on your face anyways. Even if it starts out as a fake smile you will start to feel the change inside! Just by forcing those muscles to make the happy expression something in your soul let's out a little sigh of relief and you start to feel better! It's a hard habit to form because sometimes it feels a little silly to just be smiling at nothing, especially when the last thing you feel like doing is smiling, but believe me it will help.

Most experts believe it takes 4-6 weeks to form or break a habit. Can you imagine if you were able to make this into a real habit?! This is my personal challenge until December, when I start to feel upset or sad I will put a smile on my face and keep it there until I feel that little light in my soul start to warm up again. I'm looking forward to this habit being formed. :)

Big smiles,

a s h l e y :)

holding a grudge

A lot of times this is what we look like when we hold a grudge. We are so angry we don't know what to do and 99.9% of the time the person we are angry at isn't even affected by our sorrow! So we sit by ourselves, whether physically or psychologically, and wallow in our own self pity. I know I am guilty of that! 

I build up a wall every time someone hurts me and I dare anyone to come close. The problem with that is that my pain turns to anger which multiplies inside my self enclosed wall and I end up hurting myself more than the original offender did! We (myself included!) have to learn how to let go of the hurt so that we can heal! An open wound is easier to get infected than a healed one! So together let's make the conscious effort to take the steps to heal our wounded hearts. It's going to take lots of prayer and I've found that Norah Jones and Adele at the end of the day are perfect for the emotionally distraught :) 

Here are some steps that I am working through to heal my wounded heart.

1. Identify the real reason we are hurt.

Sometimes things get so blown out of proportion that we don't even know why we were mad to begin with!

2. Consider why the 'hurt-er' acted the way they did?

Maybe they felt like they needed to defend themselves, or needed to make themselves look better than you. Take that as a compliment! They might have been threatened or jealous of you and decided to make themselves feel better by belittling you!

3. Consider the kind of life that person must lead for them to be able to produce such hurtful actions/words.

and be thankful that you aren't living it!

Above all else, don't let the hurt control your life! I know it's hard (I really do!) but you have to let it go so that you can rise above it! A balloon can't rise to the sky if it's attached to a brick! So let go of your brick and rise rise rise!!! I know you can do it, we can do it together!!!

Big bunches of balloons!

a s h l e y :)

What a week!

What a week!

I got a job this week that is ideal for me! I've been praying and praying that I would find a job that I would love. Not just one that would pay the bills, but one that I would be able to share my passion in. I've been looking at all sorts of things I thought I would enjoy from daycares and the humane society to administrative work! Then last week the perfect job came open!

I interviewed and by the time Monday came around I was sure that he had picked someone else. To make matters worse, the 'someone else' I thought he had picked was a girl that really ruined last fall for me. She is what I would consider a "hater". She hated me and wasn't afraid to let me know it. She hurt my heart because she criticized my passion and it still affects me to this day. Interestingly enough though I actually was beginning to be okay with her getting the job. I thought, 'Well, it makes sense. She has so much experience and she would do a really good job'. I had convinced myself that I could just keep on with my responsibilities in the group and live peaceably with her. On Monday evening I was even defending her when others were saying how much they hoped she didn't get the job. I was purposefully making sure that I spoke words of encouragement on her behalf. And then miraculously I got the job offer a couple hours later!

I really do hope that this girl finds a job that is a perfect fit for her. No one deserves to be unhappy and I'm sure that if she realized how her words and actions affected me she would be remorseful. I am thankful for her though. Because of her I have learned to thicken my skin and that not everyone can be my best friend. I am a better and stronger person because of my adversity!

Success and optimism,

a s h l e y :)

penny for your thoughts

kandee the make-up artist: OVERCOMERS ANONYMOUS

kandee the make-up artist: OVERCOMERS ANONYMOUS

necessary read for yesterday's hater :)

My 10 favorite things!

Because my favorite blogger ever, Miss Kandee Johnson, posted this tag I feel the need to do it too :) 

#1

Girls Nights (both spontaneous and planned)

#2

Disney World (specifically the Magic Kingdom, although I love all things Disney)

#3

cinnamon dolce frappuccinos... mmmm :)

#4

my blackberry's hot pink cover 

#5

over sized t-shirts/sweaters with leggings

#6

my Adele pandora station (especially when I'm stressed to the max)

#7

my huge papason chair

#8

forever 21 and tj maxx - both for different reasons, but I could live in 

either of these stores and be completely happy with my life :)

#9

leopard print ballet flats - they match everything!

#10

my grandma's green bean casserole

Love and yummy green beans,

a s h l e y  :)

Ah the sweet smell of success

Today has been a very productive day. I love Tuesdays and Thursdays because I always feel like I get so much  done. I started out the day with 2 classes then I went to my office hour and got the entire seating chart for the band parents day banquet completed. yay! Then I drove across town for my first "non-friend" photo shoot. I was SO excited, but then the client called and canceled. Apparently her daughter had scratched her forehead and she didn't want that to be in the pictures. Since it was 20 minutes before the shoot was scheduled and I could tell she was already set on rescheduling I didn't go into the wonders of photoshop (aka 'gimp'). Hopefully next week we'll have an awesome shoot and it will make up for all of the rescheduling.

After the failed photoshoot I decided to stick around down town and check out the YWCA bridal boutique. I had heard that they carry last season Kleinfeld's there! I wasn't looking at the wedding dresses but the prom/evening dresses. (I've made a promise to myself that I will not look at wedding dresses anymore, I'm afraid I'll find one better than the one I wore and hate my life.) I've got band banquet in December and since this is my last one I want to find something amazing. No luck today though but now that I know when they're open I definitely try again later.

A quick trip to Lowe's later and I came home and cooked a delicious meat loaf-y type dish. It's ground chuck mixed with yummy spices and a little white zinfandel, then in the middle of that I stuffed with caramelized onions, red bell peppers, and shredded mozzarella. Mmmmm. Just typing this is making me want another slice! But I won't since after dinner (and my dessert of honey topped ice cream, hehe) I went for a jog with my puppy, Khloe. I think I've determined that she is just a tad too small to take out on runs though she kept being all ADD and trying to run in zig zags and chasing acorns... let's just say she isn't the most efficient running dog, haha.

So now I'm sitting on my couch (after installing my handy dandy curtain to cover our washer and dryer) and feeling very proud of myself :) I've still got a few items to check off of my to-do list for tonight (including some homework and cleaning the dishes from my yummy dinner). OH! And Luke just got home, so I suppose I should pay him some attention, hehe.

Looooove,
a s h l e y :)

Ta-Da!!!

Recently I decided that my next step on my journey to being a super awesome photographer was to learn photoshop... Well, it turns out that photoshop is SUPER hard. Like oh em gee shoot me in the face from frustration hard. Then yesterday I was in the band 'office' staring blankly at the screen hoping that magically the photoshop buttons would make sense and this guy came in that does amazing editing on his pictures! yay! I asked him how to do the outline for the picture above and he said that he actually doesn't even use the photoshop program! He uses a free program that works just like photoshop! I was so excited! First of all, here is this guy willing to help me. Second of all, I'm saving like $600!!! Yesssssss! So after a brief how-to lesson and a couple hours of recommended youtube tutorials later I discovered how to do this!!! I know that some of you are going to be like, sooooo big deal? But trust me, this is a HUGE deal for me! So, I just thought I would share my nerdy photography excitement with you all :)

Oh and p.s. I am also excited because my favorite youtube guru slash inspirational speaker, Miss Kandee Johnson, is in the October issue of Elle! You should all go out and buy it because she is AMAZING! Like seriously she has completely changed my outlook on life and chances are I will never even meet her but there are times when I think, hmmm how would Kandee handle this person being a complete douche? And I always, always, always feel better about life after :) SO go read her blog, youtube, etc... AND her sister (a super strong Christian and also inspirational person in general) just started a blog and youtube too! So GO SUBSCRIBE you'll be glad you did! :) ...[shameless plug is over now] 

HUGE love! {<-totally stole that saying from the Kandee girls}

a s h l e y :)

Kandee's Blogs:

www.kandeeland.com

www.kandeej.com

Kandee's sister Tiffany's Blog:

http://www.hugelove.blogspot.com/

here comes the sun

This is my best friend, Shara :)

She has gone through a lot this year, in January her father passed away. It was such a sad time, completely unexpected and no one (including me) knew how to help her. We went through lots of crying, lots of hugs, and lots of changes. There are still times when she cries, when I cry for her, or when we both know she's going to cry when she gets home. But somewhere in all of this we have discovered what is really important in life and how necessary it is to make enjoying life a priority. She has been a light to me when I thought I would never escape the darkness. Despite her pain she is consistently positive, and she is always uplifting. I know that sometimes it's hard for her to keep that outlook but she'll never know how much she has changed my life and I'm sure others lives too. So here is to Shara, a true light in the darkness, my best friend.

Love and optimism,

a s h l e y ♥

friendship break up?

A lot can change in a week and yet, a lot can stay the same too. This article resounds with me tonight, and I hope that somewhere out in cyberspace it will be a help to you too :)

Recently, I discovered that one of my best friends had ditched me after I logged on to Facebook and found her profile had disappeared from my page. We’d been having problems that had culminated in a huge argument the day before, but I figured we’d get through it. I figured wrong.

Still, being given the heave-ho by way of a social networking site? My first reaction was to laugh. I mean, we’re adults. Unfriending me seemed tantamount to toilet-papering my locker or scribbling my phone number on the boys’ locker room wall.

We had been close for well over a decade. We supported each other through parental deaths, and together we’d bitched and moaned about men for untold hours. I loved her amazing daughter—buying that little girl Christmas presents was the highlight of my holidays. Suddenly, that was all gone. Suddenly, I wasn’t laughing. I was crying.

We know what to do when boyfriends dump us: sob. We eat everything in the house or take to our beds and refuse all sustenance. Usually, there’s yelling—at least at my house. We purge them from our lives. We delete all their emails and erase their number from every electronic device we own.

But when you break up with a girlfriend, things are murkier. For one thing, people don’t feel sorry for you the way they do when a romantic relationship bites the dust. You can’t blame them; it’s not like you were in love or planning a future with your friend. (Even though you assumed she’d be part of it.) So, getting wound up about the loss seems somehow, I don’t know, less legit.

Is it? It hurts as much as any other heartbreak. Victoria Clark made a short film on the subject: “Ruminations on You and Me.” I asked her about the process of grieving a dead friendship. “As a woman, I expect men to come and go because of the nature of love,” she explained. “But your girls are supposed to be on your side, no matter what … That’s what I wanted to believe for a long time, but now I know that that’s not always reality.”

A friend of mine was saddened when her BFF excised my friend from her life after landing a boyfriend. “She hated being single, so if there was a man anywhere in the vicinity, you’d be kicked to the curb,” my pal explained wistfully. Even forewarned with this knowledge, it stung when she was dismissed from her friend’s life.

Unlike my breakup, there was no dramatic defriending. This woman utilized the passive-aggressive method of choice: the slow fade. “I remember buying her a birthday gift, but somehow she just never had the time to come collect it.”

Like any other kind of relationship, friendships end. It’s not like I’ve never dumped a pal. I’ve gotten back together with a few. Because I miss her and love her, I gave making up a shot with this one. A few weeks after I was banished from her Facebook page, I emailed her an apologetic note.
I never heard back.

                                           -from The Frisky

Love & friendship,
a s h l e y <3

relationships

I was in the middle of band today and I had this thought... why do we do anything at all? I mean we have this one life and why do we choose to spend it working or going to school or participating in hobbies such as marching band? My conclusion is that we choose to participate in this activities because either consciously or subconsciously we have a need for the relationships that these things bring with them. Does that mean that our whole life is based on what we can do to develop relationships? ...actually, I think so. Relationships are what makes our hearts beat, they're the whole reason we're on this planet. All of the other things are just subgoals. So today I challenge you to remember the relationship aspect of life and not let the other things stress you out :)

Yours,
a s h l e y

stop and smell the roses

It hit me today that today was my last "first" day as a drum major. Sure, I've known that this is my last year but it really sunk it today that I will never be in this position again. Along the same lines I will never again be at my university as an undergrad student. This is my last chance to live the "college" life. 

However, I am also living the "married" life. The combination of the two makes for an interesting struggle. There are times when I wonder if any of my friends even remotely understand the issues I face, it seems like they live this disillusioned life of how things are going to be in the "real" world. There are budgets, and no more asking Daddy for money, sometimes washers break and that $75 you were saving up for a long weekend is now invested in the man that is letting his butt crack hang out in your kitchen. Things are different than I thought they would be, but the best part of all of this change and uncertainty is that, no matter how cranky I am, when I break down in the kitchen floor over soapy water and unwashed dishes I have a pair of arms that are right there to pick me up again. And that, my friends, is worth all the broken washers in the world. So, this first/last year is going to be a great one because I have someone that reminds me that I am worth something to at least one person in this world and that makes all the difference.

Love,

a s h l e y

feeling left out?

I think that everyone feels left out every once in a while. 

Here is a blog I found by Julie Allan that sums it up quite nicely:

"It happens when nobody meets your eyes, or answers your questions. It's happening when you find yourself listening to conversation and finding no opening to say what you think or feel. Eventually, you find yourself melting into the background. Becoming part of the wallpaper.

Feeling left out is something all of us has experienced. Whether it happened in school, or at a party or on your first day of work. But some of us go through days and days when the people we call 'friends' ignore or forget about us. Sometimes it's intentional, and sometimes it's not, but the bottom line is... we're left out.

One might ask, why on earth does it happen? Don't they realize what they're doing? Do they care? What should you do? Is there anything that can be done?" 

Yes, there is!

I am the world's worst to think "Well if they really wanted to hang out with me then they would call me, or invite me with them..." and then I shrink away and cry in my room with a bewildered husband wondering what to do with me. It is especially bad for me when I am out with friends and they are all making plans for something to do another night and no one asks if I want to come along. I would say that the invitation is implied by talking about it in front of me, but when they say "oh, well i'll text you tomorrow with the time" it's like a big "NO ASHLEY'S ALLOWED!" sign. This has been an issue for me lately, one I am still dealing with. But surely there has to be hope! I can't spend the rest of my life wallowing in the fact that no one is inviting me out! So here are some steps I plan on taking to keep me from sulking in my house with a confused husband...

1. Be the party planner.

So you're not getting invitations? Then send the invitations yourself! Put yourself on your own guest list and start participating (and hosting) the events that everyone wants to go to.

2. Make new friends.

There are over 6.5 trillion people in this world and to feel lonely when only a dozen or so of them forget about you is ludicrous. Find another set of friends that have been taking their ginkgo biloba!

3. Set an example.

Chances are there are other people in your life that you too have been neglecting. Maybe it's your sister or your childhood friend that lives across the state. Whoever it is, make an effort to re-establish that relationship. Not only will your loneliness fade, but you will have a stronger friendship too!

Whatever you do, don't lose heart! Remember that friendships, like every relationship, ebb and flow. You can't be so rigid or you'll end up losing them for good. So take a step back and remember that this is your only chance at this ride called life, don't waste it being caught up in the little things!

Love and friendship,

a s h l e y

maybe it's okay to not know "why"

In the past year or so I have had the unfortunate experience of learning what it feels like to lose a close friend and not know why. Sometimes those reasons can be anything from distance, to marriage, to children, to a career... but it always comes down to the fact that you were on the same life path, even if just intersecting, and now you're not. And you know what? That's okay.

I remember reading somewhere that there are three different types of friends. Those that are with you for a reason, some for a season, and a very few for a lifetime. It's okay to let those friends fit their description and then move on. That's a difficult lesson because it means change, and for most (definitely me included) change is scary. You have to learn not to force a reason friend into a season friend. It's like jamming a puzzle piece into a spot it wasn't designed to go in. It may fit but it's not the beautiful picture that the artist imagined. So quit forcing those puzzle pieces where they don't go and let time work out your beautiful life picture. I'm sure it will be worth waiting for :)

Love and encouragement,

a s h l e y

the happiness project

So, I bought this book last week and then felt guilty about spending so much money at barnes & nobles (Luke and I are working really hard on our finances) so I took it back. BUT the one chapter I did read was fantastic, so now I have found the author Gretchin Rubin's blog and I am inspired!

Basically Ms. Rubin devoted one year of her life to finding more fulfillment and happiness within the current life that she is leading. She didn't quit her job take a year sabbatical to Europe or find peace in some west coast vineyards. She continued her career and her family life in new york city while working on her own outlook on her life. In her own words... 

"The days are long but the years are short."

If you want to know more about it I'll let you go ahead and get the full story from her blog (http://www.happiness-project.com/). I think this is something worth pursuing though and in my own way I am finding my own happiness project. Much like any other road though it is filled with twists and turns and low shoulders you can blow your tires on (as Luke would say, haha)... but if it's a destination worth arriving at then we'll push through! So go check her out for yourself... the world could use a few more happy people :)

love and smiles,

a s h l e y

a little pick me up

Lately I've been feeling a little discouraged with myself. I've been feeling like I'm the way too common factor in every rocky path my friendships take. And I am. However, today I talked to my childhood friend Sarah D (she and I go all the way back to preteen angst and my first eyebrow tweeze, haha) We were catching up and I beelined it to my current state of confusion and she had just the answer I needed. I told her how I'm starting to see my flaws in a new light, how I hold grudges and pull away when people hurt me. It's a defense mechanism, and I don't know how to turn it off. Even if the offending person apologizes I still feel like I have some kind of right to be mad.

She told me that I shouldn't be so down on myself, we all have flaws, no one is perfect. She made it seem so easy, like all I have to do is not think about it so much and just live. She's right, I expect perfection from myself and my friends. And when I (or anyone else) show my imperfections I panic. I get disappointed and I think that the world is ending. I've forgotten how beautiful and unique our imperfections are. She also gave me an outsiders view on myself, a much needed boost to my self esteem. She told me about my wedding...

She told me how the whole room swirled with happiness, and it was all centered on me. She told me that she was jealous of me, the way my friends talked like I was the best person they had ever met, the way Luke looked at me, how I exuded joy and peace. She said she cried at how beautifully I interacted with every guest and how I had everyone in the room captivated. She told me how proud she was of me, and how glad she is that we are friends.

 I needed that today because I've been feeling like an outsider. The one no one wants in their group but puts up with because of the super awesome person they come with. I'm sure that's probably not true, but I thrive on the acceptance of others and I've lost that feeling lately. I'm on the path to finding the acceptance and confidence I need from God and not from an outside source. But for today, my outside source was an old friends with a welcomed message. :) 

much love and optimism for tomorrow,
a s h l e y

 

don't be a hater

Another fabulous Kandee Johnson post...

Gah, I love her so much! She is such an inspiration!

Urban Dictionary Definition: HATER-A person that simply cannot be happy for another 

person's success. Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. 

The hater doesn't really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants

 to knock someone else down a notch.

 (And in their sad mind, this will make them feel more powerful!)

I get hundreds and thousands of haters leaving me comments on Youtube, everything from how I look, to how I talk, to what I wear. And then the creative haters just make up stuff up, from their own little sad minds! Some of it is so crazy, I'm  like, "how did they even think this stuff up, they must be really bored and have nothing to do!"

My friend, Olive told me about Tim Ferriss, who wrote, The 4 Hour Work-Week, I read one of his posts about haters and social media which was awesome...and it inspired me to translate some of his great ideas and write this for you guys, I did borrow some of his awesome quotes, they are famous, but so good! Click here to read his original post on Haters.

So here's my swift kick, kung fu, power-punch, iron fist, way to deal with the HATERS in your life!

1. The Hater-Ratio

 If I make a video and 100,000 people see it, and 5 people say they hate me, they just wasted 10 minutes of their life watching my video, my next video should be me punching myself in the face....I DON'T CARE, because the majority outweighed the nutso haters! You could have 10,000 people see what you are doing, wearing, dreaming of...anything, but the only thing that matters is if one person gets it! If you are the only one who gets it- that's fine! If you go to school and 10 people say, "what the heck are you wearing? Where'd you get those clothes? Nice outfit! Nice HAIR!"....WHO CARES?!? 10 people out of the hundreds you might see that day...don't let the little "hater-ratio" spoil it for the rest of the people that love you and like what you wore!

2. Oh, the poor people that take everything personally!

Never react, it's always the worst thing to do, instead wisely decide how you will happily navigate the situation! In defense mode, you just throw out random words to defend what was just flung at you - "you're attacking me, so I'm gonna attack you back"...not the best way to spend your energy. Don't even waste your time with commenting back, you'll never reach all the awesome goals in your life, if you waste your energy on replying to a hater! Some people play victim-angry-hater, in the world...they go around getting mad, and angry at anything and everything, it's probably not you, it's just you got in their line of fire...it would've been you or ANYBODY else that came in their path! So put on your "hater-proof" jacket and let them fire away, cause no comments are gonna penetrate you today!

3. The sooner you stop trying to please everyone, that happier you'll be!

Even, me, Miss I Hope Everyone Will Like Me...had to realize that NO, not everyone is going to like me. Getting online was the biggest lesson in that, Youtube, my blog, all kinds of junk, made me realize not everyone is going to like me, but that's OK! I don't need EVERYONE to like me, the ones that MATTER will LOVE me! Every great person in history was disliked or made fun of, from great actors to singers, to inventors. If you are gonna be brave, stand out, think differently, be your true self....you will most likely have people not like you...they are scared inside, insecure, and just plain want to spill the acid that's inside them on others. “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.”-Colin Powell

4. If you don't have any haters, you better do something daring to get some!
The bigger the your dreams, the bigger your creativity, the bigger your heart, the bigger and bolder your personal style and taste is, the more criticism your going to get. It's a plain fact, the more good you do, the more determined you are, the more difference you're going to make, the more criticism you're going to get! If you're not getting any negative comments, you're probably not doing very much! ha ha ha! Focus on impact, not approval! “If you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative.” Scott Boras

5. Boring never gets teased, but out-of-the-box thinking always does!
 If you want to go after your dreams, dress how you want, think creatively and differently.. you must be willing and ready for people to think you are ridiculous, silly, and or stupid. To do anything different or interesting, be prepared to learn how to enjoy criticism. Take it as a sign of accomplishment, well if I had no dream or dressed like everyone else, ofcourse no one would say anything...I'm daring to think differently and dream even bigger! Bring on the criticism, haters! Bring it on! “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” -Epictetus

6.  The best revenge is happiness!
The best comeback for a haters:  make it OVERLY OBVIOUS  that their "hater-attack", had no effect on you! Show them how much more you love your thoughts, style, dreams, hair cut, whatever it is, that much more! Show them how much fun you're having, how much you love your life! They will be sizzling in their hate even more, once they no it had no effect on you! The old saying, "The best revenge is a life well lived", is true! Show them how awesome your life is, how happy you are no matter what anyone says. Pretty much whatever they say is just spilling out what is inside them, you pour some pepsi out of a can of Peppsi and pepsi will come out, you take a mean person filled with acidic hate, and they are going to say mean acidic words too. Don't even get angry or upset at their mean little comments, just put an even BIGGER smile on your face, maybe even a chuckle, and show them how much FUN you are having in your LIFE! 

7. Don't ever let em see you sweat!
 Adman, Phil Slott, came up with the slogan for Gillette, "Never Let Em' See You Sweat". And we're gonna do just that, never let the haters see you sweat, let them see you smile, let them see you happier than them, see you more confident, more successful, but never let them see you upset!   If you want to be brave, and stand up for your  beliefs, the way you dress, the dreams you have,  if you want to change the world...expect attackers, expect haters, expect the nay-sayers, expect the toxic words, maybe they are even from "toxic friends".  Always remember,  and I gave these my own spin...."Never Let Em Get You Upset" and"The Bigger your Smile, the Bigger your deflector shield for Haters!"

I get hater comments, but I will NEVER let them GET ME! My heart is too happy to let someone else's problem personality and mean comments ruin ME or my HAPPINESS! And I don't want haters to effect you at all either! I love you too much and you are too precious, you are strong and you're going to have too great of a future to let someone try to spoil any moment of your life with their silly words. -Kandee Johnson

I'm so glad I could share my inspiration with you! 

Now go live life and don't let anyone bring you down!

♥ a s h l e y

you can't grow a flower without some rain

rain -> yuck -> growth -> beauty

hmmm...

Question: What is the point at which you should protect yourself from the people and/or situations that are causing you to react in such way?

Answer: First you should ask yourself if having these people and or situations in your life is helping you on your way to fulfilling your dreams -or- are they pulling you further from your goal? 

For me, I am finding that although things have been less than ideal and I've been hurt. I am learning more about myself than I ever would have without the hurt. Isn't that the point? To learn more about yourself, you have to be challenged and from that challenge grow? It isn't easy, they aren't called growing pains for nothing! But in the end you are a more beautiful person, inside and out. 

So here's to a better me and a better you,

♥ a s h l e y

Rant:

My reasoning for starting this blog:

1. To change my reactions to other people and situations that I am not in control of. 

2. To realize that by being upset with someone or something else I am only hurting myself. 

Question: 

1. What is the point at which you should protect yourself from the people and/or situations that are causing you to react in such way?

2. And if so, how do you go about protecting yourself?

Let me end this confusing post by saying: "Don't break important news to your friends or family on facebook."

Love and hope for a better tomorrow,

a s h l e y 

so much yumminess!

This was mine & Luke's desert for our 2 month anniversary!

Yummy!

Ingredients

• 16 wonton wrappers
• 1 egg, beaten to blend
• 1 cup chocolate-hazelnut spread (recommended: Nutella)
• Vegetable oil, for frying
• 16 fresh mint leaves
• Nonstick vegetable oil spray
• Granulated sugar, for dredging
• Powdered sugar, for dusting

Directions

Line a baking sheet with plastic wrap. Place 1 wonton wrapper on the work surface. Brush the edges of the wrapper lightly with egg. Spoon 1 tablespoon of chocolate-hazelnut spread into the center of the wrapper. Fold the wrapper diagonally in half over the filling and press the edges of the wrapper to seal. Place the ravioli on the prepared baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining wonton wrappers, egg, and chocolate-hazelnut spread.

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees F. Add enough oil to a heavy large frying pan to reach a depth of 2 inches. Heat the oil over medium heat to 350 degrees F.

Working in batches, carefully add the ravioli to the hot oil and cook until they are golden brown, about 45 seconds per side. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the ravioli to a plate lined with paper towels to drain. Then, transfer the cooked ravioli to another baking sheet and keep them warm in the oven while frying the remaining ravioli. (The fried ravioli can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cool them completely, then cover and refrigerate. Before serving, place them on a baking sheet and rewarm in a preheated 375 degrees F oven just until they are heated through, about 7 minutes.)

Spray the top side of the mint leaves very lightly with nonstick spray. Working with 1 leaf at a time, dredge the coated side of the leaves in sugar to coat lightly.

Arrange 2 fried ravioli on each plate. Dust the ravioli with powdered sugar. Garnish with the sugared mint leaves and serve.

dreams by Kandee

If you have some time (20 minutes to be exact) you should watch this becauuuuuuuse...

1. Kandee Johnson is amazing. Go follow her. It'll change your life!
2. This video will kick start (or rejuvenate) your passion...

now press play & start living your dreams!

princess?

History 101:  In 2008 I was an intern at Walt Disney World (: 

This was me...   

   

and these boys...

and these too

BUT here's who I wanted to be...

This photo is of one of my girlfriends (Tara) as "Belle"    

                                            ...here's another (Princess Leia here)->

My husband and I visited her on our honeymoon, I told her that she's "living the dream" but she didn't think so. I wonder if you ever think that you've "arrived"? If you list out everything you want in life and then in 20 years you have it all, are you happy? Or is there always something illusive in life that we can't seem to achieve?

I have a dream. A dream of being a princess :) 

Here's the plan:

1. Graduate college

2. In our last semester Luke (my pilot husband) will fly me down to Orlando in April to audition to be a princess... If I don't get it immediately I will try every month until I either get it, or I find another job within the Disney company so we can still go to the parks lots and lots!

3. Move to Orlando, put together a new life for us & keep auditioning to be a princess

-or-

3. Move to Orlando, put together a new life for us with me as a PRINCESS!!!

Here's my current picture...

What do you think? Princess material?

♥ and dreams,

your  a s h l e y